Think of the Child

My six-year-old son’s best friend is an amazing girl called Pascal. They have been solid buddies for almost three years now. They don’t attend the same school, but have regular play dates and sleepovers, where they play outside in the dirt with items pilfered from my kitchen concocting ‘ant stew’ (which doesn’t actually involve any ants), make indoor tents out of sheets strung over dining chairs, and put on puppet shows using old fridge boxes as the stage. They have tennis lessons together on a Friday, joyfully running to meet each other at the courts and racing around in circles like a pair of excited puppies.

Their beautiful, innocent meeting of hearts and minds has given rise to a broader friendship at the family level, which has been cemented through trips to the theatre, lunches and dinners out, birthday parties, and camping trips. The camping trips have been a real revelation, as anyone who’s ever slept on an air mattress for three nights whilst not showering for three days whilst managing diminishing ice in the esky would know – if you can camp happily with another family, you’ll be friends for life.

Hugh and Pas

Pascal is the sort of child that parents dream of their kid becoming friends with. She is whip-smart, loyal, kind, insightful, happy, well-mannered and incredibly aware of the world around her. She is naturally-gifted at sport, and likes art and cooking and flower-arranging. The last time she visited our house, she made a pink collar out of paper for one of our dogs, and told my son that although she no longer sleeps with a stuffed toy, it was ‘pretty cool’ that he still does. She has the most beautiful blonde curls, and a smile that lights up her whole face, and usually the whole room. She may only be seven years old, but the love and care she shows for my son is something truly special, and he feels the same way about her. When they are due to see each other, he will count down the hours, alive with anticipation at the thought of being with someone he adores. Hugh, and Dave and I as his parents, have been blessed by this friendship. We hope that they will be in each other’s lives for a very long time.

It’s largely because of this friendship that I felt absolutely white-hot with rage when I read this article in our local paper. As I read the story of this hateful, small-minded group and what they stand for, my skin started to prickle and I could feel the blood start to pump in my temples. You see the one thing about Pascal that I didn’t feel relevant in my description of her, is that her parents are a same-sex couple. It’s not relevant because it doesn’t change anything about her. It certainly doesn’t make her less smart or less caring or less capable or less blonde. The only thing I think that having same-sex parents does change, is perhaps make her more likely to be the target of bigotry and ignorance from people who claim to be Christians but whose actions are the very antithesis of the central tenets of Christianity. And the thought of that simultaneously makes me furious and breaks my heart.

The slogan of this nasty little group is ‘Think of the child’. Well I am sitting here, thinking of the child. Actually, I’m thinking of several children. I’m thinking of Pascal, and how blessed she is to have two smart, capable, caring and wonderful parents who love her and cherish her, and who are dedicating their lives to raising her (and her gorgeous little brother) to be the absolute best people they can be. I am thinking of Hugh, and how much he loves his friend, how proud he is of her and how much he has benefited from being involved with another family, just like ours, where love and happiness abound.

And most of all, I am thinking about the children of people like David van Gend and the other members of the Australian Marriage Forum, and how they are growing up in the shadow of bigotry, ignorance and fear. I’m wondering who’s thinking about those children, the ones who are clearly the most at risk.

85 comments

  1. Hugh and Pascal are civil society’s future. Just love them and nurture them both – they will help sort out everyone else when they’re older, simply by being themselves and with your intelligent and loving support. As a gay woman who chose not to have children largely because I did not want to expose any child to this sort of mindless bigotry, I can safely say we have come a long way since. A long way to go, granted. But you, Dave and Pascal’s parents are facilitating the shift. And, as I like to say, even if the gradient of enlightenment is only a millimetre high, at least it’s in the right direction. xxx

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Hi Jules and that so much for your really thoughtful comment. We love these kids so much and are intent on helping them build a future where people like the ‘Australian Marriage Forum’ are too ashamed to bring their hatred and bigotry out into the light.

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    2. Can I just say as an adopted child I would be so angry with a society that placed me with a same sex couple. Hard enough dealing with the complexities of being adopted in the first place, not to mention the exponentially higher rate of mental illness, substance abuse, relationship issues and suicide amongst adopted people. And that is with the “standard” family arrangements. I have no doubt that same sex parents are just as qualified as parents as different sex parents, and in many cases more so. But this isn’t a homophobic rant. This is a plea from someone who has actually been through the whole adoption experience first hand, including reuniting with my biological relations. It is such a hard thing to deal with without a small child not understanding why they don’t have the same parental set up as their cousin or their best friend, or their own parents. If there is a child from a previous marriage or an IVF baby or a surrogate fine. But please, let the poor adopted kids grow up as drama and issue free as they can. Their wellbeing should be considered way before the wants and needs of a prospective parent. End of lecture.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Hi Geoffrey and thanks for taking the time to comment. I can only speak for my friends whose children are biologically theirs, and not adopted. Julie

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      2. Can I add, also as an adopted child that that’s a load of rot.

        The biggest ‘side effect’ of being adopted or born into a non standard family is having your mind opened and your empathy developed.

        Would you also be angry if a mixed race couple adopted you? Or a couple whose skin colour was different to yours? Would that irreparably harm you and cause you confusion? What about couples who have a disability? Or a single adoptee?

        Standard is very hard to find these days. We assume it’s two hetero cis white parents with matching kids. Divorce rates are sky high, and breaking down the walls of racism and bigotry like this means that there are a million variations in standard.

        Geoffrey I wish so much you had been placed with a non standard couple. Maybe then you’d realise what a valuable thing that can be.

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      3. Thank you for including my posts. Quite often our voices are silenced because the message they carry is not fashionable. For that reason I also do not agree with the ease of abortion or same sex marriage, but it is hard to convince people of the place these opinions come from. Thanks again for posting a different view.

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      4. Ironically, your post validates the points made in the blog. You were adopted by a “traditional” family and have obviously ended up unhappy about it. Proving, that being raised by a “traditional” family is not what is important.

        Being raised within a loving and empathetic environment is what is most important. All families have their struggles and all parents are only human but to be raised with love and care in a safe space is what is important.

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      5. Where I live there are many same sex parents at the school, so should I be concerned my kids are worried they don’t have the same ‘standard’ family arrangement as all those kids because we aren’t a same sex couple? It may’ve been rare when you were going though the adoptive system, but it’s pretty much the norm in Sydney.
        Most of my son’s friend’s parents are divorced, so is that the standard I’m aiming for?

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  2. I am in a murderous rage today because our PM wants the UN to ‘stop lecturing’ him, and that article is raising my blood pressure yet further. I’m glad you’re my ‘neighbour’ It feels less isolating when other people in the same area recognise the high rate of stupid leeching out around us.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Hi neighbour! I have been overwhelmed by the reaction to this post – it’s been shared on Facebook 250+ times in the last 12 hours, so I think we can feel assured that there are lots of other like-minded people in our part of the world.

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    1. I had to Kirsty, I could not sit by silently and let this hateful group pedal their bigotry unchallenged. Thank you for reading and taking the time to comment. Julie

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  3. So the people running the ad asking us to think of the children are the same people that help get the former Catholic Bishop the sack because he stood by the children who were victims of abuse. Is that right?

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    1. What? I’m not familiar with this issue. Who was the Bishop? Please excuse my ignorance. I have just finished studying and feel like I have literally crawled out from under a rock.

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      1. Hi there, if you google Bishop Bill Morris, you will find the story. Essentially he was (is) a Catholic priest who was removed from his post for having views which were seen as too ‘liberal’ by some sections of the Catholic Church in Toowoomba.

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  4. Thank you for sharing, I shared it on Facebook. As a mother of a gay son, precious stories of children being loved & cared for by gay -lesbian parents totally hit my heart strings. Pascal is one very lucky girl who will go along way in life. Love is love unconditionally. I’m all for good parenting even same sex couple’s can make the best parents & bring up children with so much love & respect for all man kind

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  5. Too true. It’s exactly what I thought when I heard of the really offensive ad. Your parents don’t define who you are and it doesn’t matter if they are straight or gay or anything they want to be. As long as they are loving and caring what does it matter. And as a girl in love with another girl who might want to start a family in the future it makes me worried about people like this.

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    1. Michelle I’ve discovered today, through the amazing response to this post, that for every narrow-minded bigot out there, there are many more kind, open-hearted people.

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  6. I adore the name Pascal!! Their friendship sounds incredible and the detail of it makes it perfectly picturesque; but not only that, their friendship sounds ‘normal’ (whatever that means) despite having different parents than Hugh. She sounds like a lovely girl and Hugh a lovely boy.
    I am fed up with hearing about negativity surrounding same-sex relationships. It boils down to things we can’t measure (love, nature, nurture, personal choice, actions of the parents and child too, different socioeconomic statuses; the list goes on) but more importantly, things that don’t need measuring.
    The main thing should be that people are happy with their own lives. 🙂 🙂
    Loved the blog!
    -hopeforhumanityremainsflickering

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    1. Cass thank you so much for your lovely comment. Firstly, Pascal is a fabulous name although in the typical Australian way it gets shortened to Passie! Any child who is loved, protected, encouraged and supported is fortunate indeed; it is itrelevant what their family looks like!

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      1. I just realised socio economic status can be measured but my point was yours stated above, it’s irrelevant.
        Great read 🙂 💚

        Liked by 1 person

  7. What a touching beautiful storey. I hope David van gend has no nuts so he cannot bring children into this world i am also ashamed he has a dutch name ..me being of dutch descent

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    1. Hi and thanks for your comments. I have no idea if David van Gend has children or not, but I imagine the Holy Name parish includes children, and it makes me sad to think of them growing up with such bigotry and ignorance in their lives.

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  8. Oh so well written. I was brought up in a family heavily involved with the Anglican church …. some of the nastiest mothers I ever encountered were devotees of our local church. As if there aren’t enough questions for these kids to handle, and handle tgem with aplomb they do, until enough bigots band together to discriminate. Shame on them. Suffice to say I have taught my children to keep a very open mind… and to be skeptical of church groups.

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  9. All children need is to be loved and cared for in a loving home, nurtured, clothed, fed and educated by decent human beings. If that is by two women or two men or a man and a woman or a single man or woman then that is all they need. How many children are abused at the hands of their married or defacto mothers and fathers? Too many! Time to think of those children!

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  10. A brilliantly written article!
    Pascal sounds like a beautiful little soul who is lucky to have found Hugh and such a supportive family as yours to be in her corner defending her in a battle she is not yet aware even exists.
    As a gay mother myself raising two boys I applaud you for taking such a strong stand against something so controversial. We need more brave souls like yourself to stand up!
    Thank you xx
    Suzi

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    1. Hi Suzi, thanks so much for taking the time to comment. I don’t feel at all brave, I am just a mother trying to parent her child in the best way I know how. I’m so pleased that my post has resonated with so many people, and has been shared all over the world. We can drown out the messages of hate, we really can!! Julie

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  11. Reblogged this on Combatting Schooling Injustice: Comenius Dreaming and commented:
    My children grew up with a deep dark secret. Their mother (me) was/is a lesbian. They usually confessed this to their friends after they felt confident in the relationship. But school in the 80s and 90s really was a toxic sea of homophobia and I can quite understand their reluctance.

    One day post school, my daughter was chatting with a group of her old class peers. One boy said that he really regretted. Not telling everyone that his mother was a lesbian. My daughter, astonished at this revelation said the same. The group then discussed how this news would have been treated and agreed that they would have been really cruel to both of them.
    I felt an overwhelming sadness that both children endured living with this dark secret alone and unsupported. I can only hope that this is less likely today. But this requires making information like this safe and ordinary and standing up against campaign like ‘think of the children’

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    1. Thank you so much for sharing your story Margaret. I think it is far less likely today, but there is still the nasty and very vocal minority of bigots. I hope that sharing my story helps drown out the voice of hate.

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  12. Thank for writing this! I wept a little. I loved that you described Pascal without referring first to her parentage. It is the least interesting thing about my two gorgeous boys too!

    We are blessed to be surrounded by friends and family who see us for what we are – a loving, crazy, laughter filled family. Just like any other.

    Last weekend I walked (danced sort-of) with my partner and our teenage, niece and nephew in the Mardi Gras in Sydney (our littler one had a sleepover at his Aunty’s) and I was so proud of how accepting, embracing, in-the-moment the kids were. They loved every minute of it and we were home by 11 drinking hot chocolate and reliving the fun. I couldn’t have imagined this was a possibility when I was a teenager – but for the kids it is perfectly normal and something to celebrate.

    It’s people like you, stories like yours that will make that possible for everyone.

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  13. Thanks for the fabulous article!!
    I realise you’re a very busy Mum but have you ever thought of entering politics.. there seems to be a significant shortage of practical and humanitarian politicians in government at the moment 😉

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    1. Hi Ellen and thanks for your comment. Funnily enough I have toyed with the idea of politics, but I’m currently in remission from breast cancer and don’t think the stress of politics would be in my best interests at the moment. One day, maybe.

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  14. The ignorance of some people astounds me as people decide to judge someone on their own personal choices in life that cause no harm to anyone. Instead of focusing negativity on same sex couples who clearly love & want nothing but the best for their children whether adopted or biological, try directing your attention on all the so called parents who do not deserve their children – by this I mean the junkies whose only care is their next fix, the domestic violence offenders who only care about themselves & the sexual predators who prey on their own children ! Would the ignorant ones who talk about these children of same sex couples also criticise a child who had a drug addict for a parent??????

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    1. Thanks for taking the time to comment Dannii. There are so many things important when raising a child, but the sexual orientatio of the parents isn’t one of them! Best wishes to you.

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    2. My point is the adopted child has no say where they end up. Society and its’ laws does that. And the law in my opinion should reflect what is in the best interest of the child, not the needs and wants of the prospective parent. To that end I do not agree that a lack of both a male and a female role model in the child’s upbringing is in the best interests of an adopted child.

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      1. Your point is that adopted children have no choice where they end up? I hate to inform you, no child has a choice, adopted or biological. So what the hell is your point? If you want me to go through all the children murdered by their natural parents just in the last year I will do it. I don’t want to but I will.

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      2. An adopted child is in reality directed into what environment they are brought up in. If you are ignorant of the adoption process, then may I suggest you keep your ignorant opinions to yourself, as they do not present any merit in this discussion.

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  15. I’m tired of mummy bloggers and your righteous indignation. The man and his parishioners are entitled to their opinion. And how would you know what a Christian attitude is anyway? I hope your sons friend gets to grow up knowing about freedom of speech and has the opportunity to engage in a world that encourages debate and doesn’t shoot down opinions different to her own.

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    1. Firstly, I’m not a ‘mummy blogger’. The name if my blog might be a hint towards that. I started the blog to write about what it’s like to have breast cancer, to go through things no-one should have to go through, and what it’s like to be living in the limbo of remission.

      Secondly, David van Gend is not a Catholic priest, so these people are not ‘his parishioners’. He’s a member of the parish, albeit it a prominent one.

      Thirdly, this is Australia and not America and ‘freedom of speech’ is not actually part of our constitution. However, as an egalitarian nation, we are fortunate to all be entitled to voice our opinions, within reason. David van Gend has voiced his, and now I have voiced mine.

      Fourthly, although I am no theologist, I am a well-read person who knows enough about Christianity to know that love, understanding and acceptance are central tenets. I may not be a Christian, but I have plenty of friends who are, and they all demonstrate these qualities. They don’t feel the need to judge others, to push their beliefs down other people’s throats, or to demonise innocent families like David van Gend and his group do. That’s the sort of ‘Christianity’ I have a big problem with.

      And finally, I hope the fact that I have chosen to publish your comment will demonstrate how open I am to reasonable debate. However, I don’t appreciate your tone, and suggest that if you comment here again you do so in a more polite manner. Thanks.

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    2. LOL, yet again a right wing nut job doesn’t get irony. You are tired of other people having the freedom of opinion that conflicts with your freedom of opinion. You break me up

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      1. Hi, I’m unclear if you’re referring to me, or to Miranda, or to David van Gent et al. Can you please clarify so I can respond in context? Thanks.

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  16. I am from Toowoomba where this disgusting crap has come from. They raised $21,000 for this ad in one week. I am truly ashamed of them. He is a Dr no less who should know better. I wish you all nothing but joy and happiness in your lives together.

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    1. Hi Jenny, I am from Toowoomba too – part of my reason for writing this post was to ensure that Toowoomba isn’t seen as the religious zealot capital of Australia. There are plenty of them around, as you would know, but there are also plenty of people like you and I who can get the message of acceptance out there. Best wishes, Julie

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  17. Have just read your beautiful article on children raised by same sex couples. You have captured my own feelings in a nutshell. Love is all kids need!,
    It saddens me no end to know that this sort of bigotry exists today and all done in the name of religion.
    My best girlfriend and her husband have raised two beautiful, talented and amazing daughters. One who has just married and the other has just become engaged to her girlfriend. Both were raised with love, care and concern for others and a firm hand so they always have known how to be good people who know how to act in society. My point is, that completely bebunks the myth that gay people are made not born and can be turned back into heterosexuals. According to the god police that is.
    What the god police need to realise is that their salvation on the day of their own judgement will be based on their own conduct, not how someone else has lived their life. I once found a passage in the bible that stated: whatever you have said to others god will say to you and hold you accountable. Something to think about. Worry about your own salvation and leave the rest of us to conduct our lives as we see fit. It is not your role to “save” us.
    Love and power to all children and parents in this world. Just be who you are. You were born perfect and dont allow anyone to treat you otherwise.

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    1. Hi Glenda – thanks so much for your comment. It has gladdened my heart so very much to receive all this positive feedback and support. I love your reference to ‘the god police’ – how hilariously apt.

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  18. Brilliantly written. Agree, wholeheartedly. One day, not too distant from now, future generations will look back with horror on the attitudes (mainly religious zealots) held. That day cannot come too soon.

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    1. Hi Ken and thanks so much for taking the time to comment. You have my 100% agreement. I had someone ask me yesterday what my son thought about his friend’s parents being gay. I told them that he didn’t think about it at all, in the same way that he doesn’t think about his other friends’ parents being heterosexual. The minds of children remain unsullied by bigotry if they are not exposed to it within their own family. It really is that simple.

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  19. After reading this article I have realised that I know the man named at the bottom. I will not be associating with him again. I don’t understand how individual people think they have the right to tell others what is the ” NORM ” and what isn’t. Everyone’s opinions count because they are personal but pressuring them on to others is a form of bullying.

    I am so glad that your children have found each other in this crazy world of ours. Enjoy their friendship. Enjoy their love for each other. How special.

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    1. Hi Rachael, I don’t know him, but since publishing this blog post have been contacted by people who do, and they all feel the same as you. As for Hugh and Pascal, their friendship is one of the highlights of my life. They are spending Saturday together and Hugh is already asking me how many hours to go – to experience such connection with another human being is rare and precious. Thanks so much for taking the time to comment, I really appreciate it. Julie

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  20. Ok so I just watched this video and while I agree with the message that children deserve a mum and a dad, I do not believe that those people must be biological or married. I think that kids need a strong female role model and a strong male role model in their lives. I also believe that the more people that love a child the better. So as a single mum for many years I made sure my boys had strong male role models in their lives, (the bio dad was absent). I have been married to a man (I am female) that didn’t mean my kids had “dad” (they didn’t he was hopeless). They did however have male role models – (as I did in my grandfather when my parents divorced and my dad became absent from my life).
    So if this same sex couple have surrounded themselves with additional role models for their child (male and female) (which obviously they have given the person who has posted this blog appears to be one of these people) and who love that child and are involved with the upbringing and loving of the child then frankly I think this child (and many like them) are in far much better situations than most (even those living in male/female parent families).
    I also do not believe that having parents of opposite sex should come at the expense of civil rights. Many people marry from love and not just to have children. It is very dark ages to think that children are only created and raised in two parent male/female married families. The number of parents who fitted this criteria (in first marriages) at my childrens school is negligible. There are second marriages – creating more parents – most kiddies have 2 mums and 2 dads (albeit a step mum and step dad) they still have two sets of each gendered parents who with luck love and care for them.
    Every human being should have the right to be legally married to another human being. In fact marriage, as such, is a civil act and not a religious one. Religious marriage does not require a marriage certificate with money for this paid to a secular government. It is only in the last few hundred years that various governments have even imposed the concepts of “legal” marriage. Marriages were historically conducted in churches with no involvement or payment to the government.
    So in my opinion the idea of “legal” same sex marriage should really be of no concern to groups like this as it is clear that regardless of the ‘legal’ piece of paper issued by a secular government, the marriage is not valid in the eyes of this particular church as the couple were not married in it – therefore it is irrelevant to them. Religious marriage should only be of concern to religious groups – the fact that they choose to also additionally have a civil piece of paper is their choice. It should never preclude others from obtaining the same civil (not religious) piece of paper.

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    1. Hi Donna and thanks for such a thoughtful, insightful comment. I totally agree with you – I don’t believe anyone’s marriage, gay or straight, is relevant to anyone else, except if it impacts on them (eg if a marriage is abusive and is impacting on the children). I often wonder what the world would be like if groups like the Australian Marriage Forum focussed their energy in positive directions. But the fact is, doing really positive things that impact for the greater good can be really hard work, and it’s far easier to spread hatred and misinformation.

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  21. Thanks for writing such a great blog Julie and follow up conversation. My kids went to daycare in Darlinghurst, one of the most important life lessons they learnt is that families come in all shapes and sizes. I love that they just accept this because it’s all they know. It’s also the BEST when your child finds a little soulmate! Lisa

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    1. Hi Lisa! Thanks so much for your comment. Funnily enough Hugh and Pascal first met at daycare, which was a multicultural, multi-faith centre with kids from all sorts of families. I know I am biased because I’m his mum, but I think Hugh is an incredibly accepting child – he seems to not notice difference at all – and I think it stems from being in this environment from such a young age. Cheers, Julie

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  22. Here Here. Kudos to you. Very well said.
    Why can’t we just love people for who they are not what they are.
    I embrace and love all of my friends and family no matter which road they choose.

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    1. Hi Helen, thanks so much for commenting. I don’t think about my friends’ sex lives, gay or straight – as you say, it’s completely irrelevant. I’ve been so heartened by the positive response to my post, it makes me feel hopeful for our kids.

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  23. My mother at the age of 30, (married with 3 children) accept who she final was as a person. When she was growing up it was seen as ‘normal’ to marry and have children. It was one of the hardest things she would have had to do. She accepted, she was a lesbian. So when I was in year 4 my mother, began living with a woman. To me it is my mother and I love her for her not who she loves. While at teenage years it can be a little difficult ( but what teenager finds it easy) that was my life. I wouldn’t change it. I love my mother who has been with her partner for over 20 years. All of her children are well educated, healthy, and wonderful people. Sex doesn’t define a great parenting, neither does a partnership. What defines a great parent is the ability to love, nurture, and support a child to help them grow.

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    1. Hi Helen and thanks so much for your comment. Your story about your mother is just beautiful, and your final sentence is absolutely spot on – that is absolutely what makes a great parent, and grows a wonderful child who may in turn become a great parent. Julie

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  24. I really like this article and particularly the last point it makes about children being at risk of being exposed to bigoted and prejudiced views about homosexuality. This essentially turns one of the most popular arguments against homosexuality into an argument for tolerance of homosexuality. Not just that but the point it makes is absolutely right. Children ARE the most at risk in this conflict of ideas. But the reason they are at risk is because children’s views and principles are easily swayed in contrast to adult’s views.

    If you look at the tolerance of homosexuality from an objective standpoint, it actually has no impact whatsoever on anybody except for those who wish to be in a homosexual relationship.
    Everything else is a manifestation of fear and conditioning which is often taught to children at a young age. It is incredibly easy to change the attitudes of you children with simple arguments but even the most logical argument in the world might not convince a homophobic adult.

    And these homophobic adults are now genuinely suffering because their stubborn principles are telling them that society is wrong to accept homosexuality. As a result, they are putting huge amounts of effort into trying to change society. But their efforts are wasted. Homosexuality isn’t a world issue like disease or hunger, it’s simply a lifestyle choice. While this group of people try their hardest to follow their misguided principles, another group feels the burden of being oppressed.

    There is a lot of suffering on both sides of this debate. But it is quite clear that if you are taught to be tolerant of homosexuality as a child, then as an adult, you will never suffer the burden of feeling that you have to have to oppress a huge group of people just so that your stubborn principles can be upheld.

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    1. Hi James and thanks so much for your comments. I found myself nodding along as I was reading. I am the child of a working class, low soci-economic family – my Dad was born during the depression and left school at age 13, and my mother at 14. They both came from ‘traditional’ families in very mono-chromatic areas. They were not well-educated or wordly in any way, but they taught us to be tolerant of others, accepting of difference and were very much of the belief that if what someone is doing is not impacting negatively on you, then it’s none of your business. I feel bemused (and sad) that the person leading this hate-filled group in my town is a medical doctor, who has been given the gift of extensive tertiary education and the privileges of upper middle-class lifestyle, yet chooses to focus his energies on spreading bigotry and fear. Again, thanks for reading and commenting, Julie.

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  25. I’m not bothering to read the article (linked) but at the time, the argument basically insulted single parents and divorced parents in their sweeping argument against same sex couples. If you you live in the suburb that is heavily muslim/chinese/LBGTQI, does that mean you should try to be more like them to make your child feel ‘normal’? If all your kids friends are children of divorce, should you separate so that your child feels the same as everyone else?
    The argument is dressed up homophobia. Think of the children being fed that!
    (ps the religion & ethnicity were picked at random – not implying anything)

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    1. The notion that all families should fit some idealised model is ridiculous, isn’t it? And often those ‘ideal’ families with mum, dad, 2.5 kids and a dog fall apart, because humans are human, no matter who they are.

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  26. Also, kids only think something is weird if they’re taught it’s weird. So maybe we, the product of a very restrictive world view need to open our minds a little bit and catch up with society.

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    1. So true. We have gay couple friends of both genders, friends with disabilities, friends of different religions, none of it is even on my son’s radar because they’re just people to him.

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